FALCOOON PUNCH
by Lordoftheghostking28
Summary: Ever think it's weird that Captain Falcon always announces what he's gonna do with a 'FALCON' and then a verb? Well, in this Fic, he and Olimar and Kirby and everyone else bring that randomness to the max. LAUGHS ENSURED! T FOR HUMOR!


** Ever think it's weird that Captain Falcon always announces what he's gonna do with a 'FALCON' and then a verb? Well, in this Fic, he and Olimar and Kirby and everyone else bring that randomness to the max. Enjoy and don't hate me for this.**

It was a good day in Smash Mansion. Until Captain Falcon walked in the room.

"FALCOOON…HELLO!" He announced merrily.

Everyone in the room gave him a very odd look. "Dude, how many times must we tell you that we don't drink here?" Meta Knight sighed.

"PIKMIIIIN…HI!" Olimar waved at Captain Falcon.

"FALCOOON…I WANT COFFEE!"

"PIKMIIIIN…NOO IT'S MINE!"

"FALCOOON…PUNCH!"

Olimar went flying through a window.

"This is why you don't get coffee." Marth said, looking at the Olimar-shaped hole in the house. "And besides, we didn't make any."

"FALCOOON…MAKE COFFEE!" Captain Falcon ran off to the kitchen.

"Oh great," Ike muttered.

There was a loud crash and then Olimar's voice sounded from the kitchen, "PIKMIIIIN…ATTACK!"

"FALCOOON…AAAAHH!"

"PIKMIIIIN…PUNCH!"

"FALCOOON…KICK!"

"Ok, ok, this is ridiculous! Stop right now!" Zero-Suit Samus ran into the room and stood between Olimar and Captain Falcon. "What the heck is wrong with you two, anyway?"

"FALCOOON…STARE!" Captain Falcon started staring at Samus.

"PIKMIIIN…PROPOSE!" Olimar dropped to one knee.

"Ganondorf! We need your powerfully powerful punches over here, pronto!" Samus began backing up slowly to the door. Falcon was still staring at her and Olimar was sort of scooting himself across the floor on one knee.

Ganondorf entered the kitchen and rolled up his sleeves and headed towards Captain Falcon, who was closest. "GANOOON…DARK PUNCH!" He yelled, punching Captain Falcon into the upstairs.

"PIKMIIIN…RUN AWAY!" Olimar got up and ran like mad.

"GANOOON….OH NO YOU DON'T!" Ganondorf chased after him and didn't stop until Olimar was in a trash can somewhere outside the house.

"That takes care of them." Ganondorf said happily. "Morons,"

Everyone in the mansion breathed a sigh of relief. Until Mario walked into the room.

"Um, guys-a? We have-a bit a probablem-a…"

"Which is…?" Snake asked, sounding bored.

"Well-a…Kirby-a ate-a a Captain Falcon and-a he's going-a nuts."

That was about when Kirby rocketed down the stairs screaming in a high-pitched squeaky voice, "FALCOOON…IDENTITY THEFT!"

"FALCOOON…NOO LIFELOCK DOESN'T WORK!" Captain Falcon wailed.

"Not from Kirby, at any rate." Wario observed.

Snake decided he was tired of sharing a mansion with idiots and left. Don't worry, he'll be back when he gets the chance to beat the s**t out of the idiots.

"KIRBY ATE MY CAKE!" Luigi screamed.

"FALCOOON…FREAK OUT!" Captain Falcon ran in a circle.

"FALCOOON…HA HA!" Kirby laughed evilly.

"PIKMIIIN…TAKE OVER DA WORLD!" Olimar laughed more evilly.

"FALCOOON…OH NO A DICTATORSHIP!" Captain Falcon and Kirby screamed.

"PIKMIIIN…NOT AMUSED." Olimar growled.

"I'm scared. Should we call the police?" Lucas asked, hiding behind Zelda.

"Yeah, they're nuts." Ness added.

"We'll wait a bit more, and if they don't get some sense knocked into them from Ganondorf…that'll be our last resort." Zelda replied.

"Sounds good to me."

"FALCOOON…IGNORE!" Captain Falcon turned the opposite direction from Kirby and crossed his arms.

"FALCOOON…WHATEVER!" Kirby retorted.

"PIKMIIIN…YOU'RE SO IMMATURE!"

"FALCOOON…SO ARE YOU!" Captain Falcon stated. "FALCOOON…IGNORING YOU TOO!"

Everyone that was sane rolled their eyes as the epic battle of the Falcons and Pikmins continued.

"PIKMIIIN…WHY THE HECK AM I EVEN TALKING LIKE THIS IN THE FIRST PLACE?"

"FALCOOON…I DON'T KNOW IT'S YOUR PROBABLEM! I ALWAYS TALK LIKE THIS." Captain Falcon said, even though he said he was ignoring them.

"PIKMIIIN…I CAN'T STOP!"

"FALCOOON...GOOD!" Kirby and Falcon said at the same time.

"PIKMIIIN…NOOO IT'S A CURSE!"

"FALCOOON…OH MY GAH YOU'RE RIGHT!" Kirby freaked out. "FALCOOON…WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO?"

"FALCOOON..NOTHING!" Captain Falcon growled.

"FALCOOON…OH I KNOW!" Kirby ate Olimar.

After he had stolen his identity he said, "PIKMIIIN…OH CRAP IT'LL NEVER END!"

"PIKMIIIN…WHAT IF YOU ATE SOMEONE ELSE?" Olimar asked.

"PIKMIIIN…HEY THAT MIGHT WORK!"

Kirby ate Diddy Kong.

"MONKEEEEY…NOOOO!" Kirby wailed.

Everyone else burst out laughing. Except Diddy Kong, because he was really ticked that Kirby ate him.

"This is entertaining." Ganondorf said after a while. "Let's watch them for a while and the tell them later that this is all the cause of a FanFiction writer who was epically bored."

The author, Lordoftheghostking28, walked into the room.

"I didn't even foresee this happening." GhostKing said. "I was just gonna have someone have an epic word battle with Captain Falcon, but then this happened."

"You lose control of your own stories like that?" Luigi asked. "Wow, this could get really scary."

"Yep. Well, I have to go. Good luck getting them back to normal." GhostKing left, because even she didn't know how to get them to stop putting 'FALCOOON' or 'PIKMIIIN' or 'MONKEEEY' in front of everything they said.

And yes, GhostKing is a girl.

"Who needs TV when you got these guys?" Link laughed. "They're a walking comedy show. Oh, and Jigglypuff."

Pikachu booted Jigglypuff out of the house, because everyone hated it. It was just there. And It was ugly.

"Good job, Pikachu!" The Pokémon trainer guy said. "LEVEL UP!"

So Charizard popped some popcorn over his tail flame and everyone had some popcorn to watch the show.

"MONKEEEY…CRY!" Kirby started crying.

"FALCOOON…THIS IS GETTING US NOWHERE!" Captain Falcon hissed.

"PIKMIIIN…I KNOW!" Olimar agreed.

Then they shut up to think, which was surprising. Everyone already thought that Kirby was all stomach and no brain. THEY WERE WRONG.

Part of the roof caved in over Squirtle. EET WAZ _SOOPER EFFEKTIVE_.

"That was unexpected." Falco muttered.

The Pokémon Trainer left to find a new Squirtle.

"What do you expect, then? The author herself said that random things were prone to happen." Fox said.

Wolf's blaster went off unexpectedly and shot King Dedede. He died.

"….I'm scared now." Fox said again.

"Yeah, me too." Wolf said. "I swear I didn't do it! This thing has a mind of its own."

"Yes, I do, Wolf O'Donnell! I command you to unhand me and let me go!" The blaster screamed.

Everyone ran away from the demented blaster, which lay on the floor, unmoving, because it had no limbs. "S**t." It said.

"FALCOOON…WHAT'S HAPPENING?" Captain Falcon asked nervously.

"PIKMIIIN…I DON'T KNOW BUT EVERYONE JUST RAN OUT OF THE MANSION." Olimar said.

"MONKEEEEY…DID THAT BLASTER JUST TALK?" Kirby demanded.

"No," Said the blaster. "It's just your imagination."

"FALCOOON…OH MY GAH!"

"MONKEEEY…OH MY GAH!"

"PIKMIIIN..OH MY GAH!" The three cursed Smashers jumped out a window.

Now no one was in the mansion, beside from King Dedede's dead corpse. Also Sonic, because he knew where the cookies were. He wasn't allowed to have any, but sense everyone had evacuated the house, he figured that didn't matter anymore.

Meanwhile on the front lawn…

"I'm scared now." Pit squeaked. "Deathly, deathly scared."

"Me too." Zelda admitted. "This author is nuts."

"Aren't all authors?" Link asked.

Then King Dedede walked out onto the lawn, completely alive and not dead.

"How did that happen?" Meta Knight demanded.

"I don't know." King Dedede admitted. "I just came alive again."

"Creepy…"

The mansion blew up.

"WHAAAA!" Everyone ran around to avoid falling debris.

Captain Falcon, Kirby and Olimar were standing in the wreckage of the kitchen, unscathed and unharmed somehow, even though they jumped out a window earlier; except Olimar's antenna thing was on fire. Zelda threw a bucket of water at him, causing his space suit to shrink.

"What happened to my mansion?" Ike wailed. "What happened?"

"It wasn't just yours, Smart One!" Marth whacked him.

"It was Sonic." Kirby said. He smiled, realizing he didn't start his sentence with 'MONKEEEY', and then passed out from sheer terror and relief.

"Yeah, he ate cookies and then went nuts." Olimar gasped before fainting from lack of oxygen because his space suit was too tight. He too also sort of fainted from terror and relief too.

"HE ATE MY COOKIES?" Peach screamed.

"Yeah. All of them." Captain Falcon fainted, because he knew what that meant.

The last time Sonic went on a sugar rush he caused over $3,374,673,864,089,375 in property damage. Fox had to call in the Landmaster to smooth out the land again.

"So…where does this leave us now?" Lucas asked.

"Well, the Three Stooges are cured, thank God." Zelda said. "But we are now homeless and there's a maniac running around here."

Snake came back. "What happened?"

"Everything." Ness said spookily.

"Um, ok."

"Yeah, come on everyone! It's HUNTING SEASON!" Fox acted like a secret agent but failed miserably.

The Pokémon Trainer came back, holding a Pokѐball. "I got a new Pokémon." He said happily.

"Really?" Ganondorf asked.

"Yeah." The Trainer threw the Pokѐball, and Sonic popped out, looking really annoyed and hyper.

"I'M NOT A POKEMON!" He yelled.

"Oh. Oops." The Trainer muttered. "Oh, well. You are now!"

" -_- " Everyone said. It had been a long day.

"Well, come on. Maybe we can find another mansion to live in." Link suggested.

"Sounds good to me." Zelda said.

** THE END.**

** I wrote this in about an hour. ONE HOUR WRITING CHALLENGE COMPLETED!**

** "FALCOOON…NO FLAMES!"**

** Hasta la Vista, Readers!**

** Lordoftheghostking28 **


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